When to Send Baby Shower Invitations: The Countdown

A message lands in the family group chat on a Thursday night: baby shower this Sunday, midday, at Marta's. By Friday morning three people have answered with the same word. Can't. One is on shift. One is two hundred miles away. One already has a birthday lunch booked.

Nothing about the invitation failed. The link works, the photo is lovely, the wording is warm. What failed was the timing. Nobody decided when to send it, so it went out four days before.

When to send baby shower invitations: six weeks, not six days

Take the date of the shower and count back six weeks. That day is send day: a real date in your calendar, not a vague 'I'll keep you posted' in the group chat. Six weeks is what someone needs to swap a shift, book a travel cot or move a train ticket without paying silly money for it. It is also the difference between an invitation and a heads-up.

• Count back six weeks from the shower date and pencil that day in as send day.
• Whoever has to swap a shift, book a travel cot or change a train ticket needs that month, not that weekend.
• Before you publish, check five things: date, time, full address with a map, dress code and RSVP questions.
• Send one message to the group with the link. Not twenty voice notes saying the same thing.

What has to be settled before you hit publish

Date, time and the exact address with a map. 'Saturday afternoon at Marta's' tells a guest nothing if they are coming from another city and need a street name for the sat nav.

Dress code said in plain words: 'soft colours' means something to people, 'come comfortable' means nothing to anyone. And decide the RSVP questions before you send. 'Are you coming?' and 'How many of you?' are usually enough. Guests answer from the invitation itself, and the replies land in one ordered list instead of scattered across three group chats.

The countdown does not start when you order the cake. It starts when the link reaches your guests' phones.

The last week: change details, not plans

The venue might move. The time might slide from 12:00 to 13:00. Someone might forget the dress code. You edit the invitation and the link stays exactly the same, so guests see the updated version the next time they open it: no reprints, no resending envelopes, no 'ignore my last message'. The day before, one manual nudge with the same link works better than counting replies in a notebook, and it opens in any browser on a phone, a tablet or a laptop without installing anything. If the grandparents want something for the fridge, print a couple of copies yourself. The digital invitation is the system; that handful of paper is a nice extra. So pick a design, try it free and publish it with the date already fixed.